


Thrown Over The Side

by lop90804



Category: Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, But he's still a jerk sometimes, Canon Divergent, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I'm Bad At Tagging, Idk its up to you, Multi, OOC Kurt, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV First Person, POV Outsider, Sweet, Tags May Change, Why Did I Write This?, i have my reasons, maybe ram and kurt?, super fluffy, theres angst too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2019-08-02 08:01:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16301198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lop90804/pseuds/lop90804
Summary: Kurt pounded on the door until his knuckles were bloody, screaming her her to open it. Ram tried to hold him back, scared he would hurt himself. But the door didn't budge, and the girl inside didn't answer, it was like they were ghosts.AU Where Kurt and Ram didn't go to the graveyard, and Veronica didn't stop Heather Mac from killing herself, but Kurt tried to.Read the notes if you want to know why the hell I'm doing this





	1. Can I talk to you?

**Author's Note:**

> This entire fic is based on a production of Heathers the community theater I go to did. The dead teens are on stage the entire time after their deaths. Kurt had a meltdown when Mac was suicidal and tried to break the door down to stop her, he was crying and it was so real. It was my favorite part of the show, several audience members (myself included) had audible reactions to it. So I wanted to write about that relationship, and it just expanded from there.
> 
> I have no beta-reader, so I'm sorry for that.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt knew he messed up. He had to apologize to Veronica and Heather. 
> 
> The day after Blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this fic is mostly set after Heather Mac commits suicide. But I wanted to establish the relationship here and I honestly really like the idea of Kurt apologizing for the events of Blue. Comments are appreciated.

I took a deep breath, standing alone by Heather's locker. Last period ended seven and a half minutes ago, and I've been waiting the whole time. Ram and I usually got the hell out of there the second the bell rang, but I didn't want to leave without apologizing. 

Finally, Heather McNamara came walking down the hall, with Heather Duke and Veronica. Veronica froze when she noticed me, and Mac took a deep breath, but Duke just carried on as if nothing was wrong. Something was wrong, and I knew that. I knew that I screwed up, big time. I needed to make it right. Duke just went to the locker next to me and opened it, revealing red binders, mirrors, bags, and accessories. 

 _Oh,_ _cleaning out Heather Chandler's locker._

"Can I talk to you?" I glanced between Veronica and Mac, I honestly didn't know which one of them I was asking. I just wanted a yes from either girl. Clearly, the girls didn't know who I was talking to either, but Duke didn't have any time for this.

"Trying to clean out Heather's locker, a little respect? I am NOT doing all of this alone! Do you see all this shit? Heather must have been a hoarder!" Veronica giggled a bit, and I tried not to. Veronica looked at McNamara and smiled softly. 

"You go ahead, I'll help Heather." The warmth dropped from her voice. "We can talk later, and trust me, we need to." I nodded, I knew she could have been a lot meaner and I would have deserved it. Heather Mac guided me to the teacher's bathroom, explaining that this was where she went when she needed a moment alone and away from Heather and Heather. As soon as the door was closed, I fell apart a bit, rambling on.

"I'm so so so so sorry. I know I shouldn't have drank so much, what I did and what I tried to get you to do is super not cool, and I know that. Me trying to get you to bring Veronica into it was even worse. I mean let alone the fact that, looking back, I was making her super uncomfortable, it super felt like cheating on you. And I know we aren't a couple but I care about you like we are, but I almost hurt you and I don't ever want to do that ever again. And I've decided that since booze apparently makes me want to fuck anything that moves, I'm not gonna drink again because I love you," I took a deep breath, about to start talking again, but then I realized what I said. I was surprised that I said I wouldn't drink again, but more surprised about the love confession. 

Heather Mac just stared at me, completely dumbfounded. It's like she didn't believe the big goof could actually say those words to a girl. I am known to be a player, and not just of football. 

I looked down, not sure what the hell was happening anymore. When I finally looked up, the only thing I could think to say was:  
"Can I kiss you? Can I tell you I love you? Can I take you on dates? Can we be seen together holding hands? I want to do the whole couple thing with you, if that's okay. Again, if not I'm gonna respect your boundaries this time, trust me I feel like shit and I've learned my lesson after what happened last night, but I really want us to be a thing. I just-" 

She kissed me. I tried to kiss her back, but I was smiling so wide I could barely put my lips together for a kiss. 

"Yes." She stared at me, but all he could think to do was pet her, for some unknown reason. She rolled her eyes, honestly the moments where I was just a little bit dumb were when I showed my sweetest side.

"OH!" I got an idea. I held my right hand up, and put my left hand on Heather's head. "I, Kurt Kelly, swear on my _girlfriend_ Heather, that I will never drink again!" 

"Never?" She said, fake awe in her voice.

"Never." I considered it. "Never more than one drink at a time, and no shots." 

We shook on it, and left the bathroom.

 

Next, I needed to apologize to Veronica. But, honestly, she could break both my arms and I would be happy. I would have deserved it too. But HOLY SHIT! Heather had just agreed to be with me and my ugly self. Luckily, most of the school had left at this point so I could just talk to her in the hallway. 

"Go ahead, give me one good reason not to go to the cops." Veronica calmly stated, although it was clear if I said the wrong thing she would explode.

"Umm.. I've sworn off drinking and I'm already incredibly sorry because I know what I did was really really wrong?" I suggested, shrugging my shoulders. Veronica was taken aback, that was not what she expected. She actually had to remember that she was angry.

"Yeah, you're right, it was really wrong." Veronica started again.

"Oh, c'mon, I had just gotten her to stop yelling at me!" Duke called out.

"Well, you all deserve it! That is so fucked up, you guys. Heather, you volunteered me to be raped! Heather, you didn't even open the car door! Kurt, you made Heather feel like her only option was to have me raped!" 

"Can you stop saying 'rape'?" Ram walked up to us, hearing the commotion. I slapped him in the stomach and told him to shut up.

"And Ram! You almost _raped_ all three of us!" 

"Duke was just playing hard to get, you were too. If you were actually uncomfortable, you should have said something." Everyone (including me) stopped to glare at Ram. 

"Yeah, whatever. I guess I won't call the cops since you've sworn off drinking-"

"DUDE! You swore off drinking?" Ram nearly yelled

"-AND if Heather McNamara can forgive you, and for whatever reason, date you, then I guess I can too. Forgive you, I mean, not date you,"

"You're going out with Heather? That means you can't sleep with anyone else, Man." Ram Sweeney was not the smartest guy in school. Or in the senior class. Or on the football teem. Or just between the two of us.

Heather kissed me, and I couldn't help but grin from ear to ear.


	2. Lifeboat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the 5th suicide at Westerberg, the school holds an assembly to discuss suicide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JD+Veronica are still a thing in this fic. This chapter focuses on them for a bit at the beginning, but we will be back to our regularly scheduled stupid later.

 

**Veronica's POV**

JD, Heather, Heather, Kurt, Ram, and I were all eating together. Ram had just made some stupid joke that I didn't pay attention to because got a text from Martha.

**This is Martha's mother. Please call me, Honey. It's important.**

"I gotta go." I put my fork down and got up, JD trying to follow me as always. I just put my hand on his shoulder. "Don't you dare follow me, you maniac." I think we all saw the rage flare up in his eyes like he could kill something, but it as gone just as quickly as it came. He put his hands up in surrender.

"Fine, we can talk later." His lips pushed tightly together and he stabbed a "salad" (It was two whole leaves of lettuce) with enough force to break the fork.

I went into the hideout Heather had shown me, the staff bathroom, and called Martha's phone. Mrs. Dunnstock picked up.

"Hello? Mrs. Dunnstock? What happened, is everything okay?"

"No, Martha- she-" It was clear she'd been crying. I took a deep breath.

"She jumped off the Old Mill Bridge. She's dead." I felt my stomach drop. 

"Oh my g-" A realization hit me. "Did she- Did she leave a note?" 

"Yes. I can send you a picture of it."

"Please do. I need to know. I'm so sorry Mrs. Dunnstock. I can't believe-"

"Me either. I love you Veronica, but I need to go."

"Alright, thank you." I hung up the phone and sat on the bathroom floor. I waited for the picture, I needed to verify if my suspicions were true. Finally it came through.

**Dear world,**

**I'm not sure why I'm writing this, nobody will care. The world is full of bad people who do bad things. The assholes who hurt people get a free pass, while people like me suffer. I can't stand to live in a world like this. I mean face it, the only place where girls like me can get along with girls like Heather is in Heaven, so I'm gonna try that. See if people are nicer there. Maybe if someone had taken care of all the assholes in the world I could have stayed, but unfortunately I can't stand it.**

**Martha Dunnstock**

I am gonna kill JD.

I sat back down at the table, far from JD, next to Kurt and Heather Mac. They were in the middle of a conversation.

"I have no idea, probably teen pregnancy or STD's or something." Ram shrugged, looking down at his crotch.

"We had that talk back in middle school, dumb ass." Duke rolled her eyes, shoving Ram.

"What the hell are we talking about?" I asked McNamara

"The assembly later, trying to figure out what it's about." JD called from across the table.

"I didn't ask you." I shot back. Everyone got quiet, sensing the tension between the two of us. Nobody knew what to say, how to handle this. So Ram just left, Kurt following after him. And if Kurt left, Mac had to follow. And Mac didn't go anywhere without Duke, so it was me and JD.

But then everyone was called into the gym for an assembly.

 

 

 

**Kurt's POV**

 

"Alright, everyone, take your seats!" Ms. Fleming screamed into the microphone. The principal came up to her and whispered something in her ear, she pulled the microphone further away from her. "Oh, thank you. Is that better? Okay." Everyone laughed. "So, this is our senior class? Or are we doing the freshman first?" 

"Most of us are seniors, but Ram acts like a freshman!" I called out, Ram punched me in the arm.

"That's not productive, Kurt. Alright. So, we are here to talk about something very serious. I don't want to be dealing with jokes from you two, got it?" Both of us nodded. "This morning, this school got a call saying a 5th student has committed suicide in the past month. Suicide is a very serious topic. But before we get started, I want to have a full minute of silence for those not with us anymore. That's five minutes of no talking." The principal ran up and whispered something in her ear. "Ok, apparently we don't have time for that, so we will just do one minute." Veronica looked at JD, who was wearing an unreadable expression that seemed like a smile on his face.

"A minute of silence for Heather Chandler, Samantha Wilson, Hayden Price, Andrew Mills, and Martha Dump- Dunnstock. Martha Dunnstock." Everyone laughed, and Veronica was balling her fists, she looked like she was seeing red.

"Now, now, let's not speak ill of the dead. STOP LAUGHING!" A hush fell over the crowd, the kids were slightly scared. 

"Everyone feels pain, at some time or another, but that is no reason to give up! So, what I would like to do here today, is kind of a group therapy session. If anyone wants to talk about anything, like suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, this is the place. Anyone?" 

"Is there a cure for herpes?" A random kid yelled out.

"No, no this isn't- Not those kinds of questions? Never mind, just talk to the nurse about anything like that, Dwight. Today we are here to discuss mental health and it's importance."  JD and Veronica started arguing, but they were whispering and I couldn't hear what they were saying

"I've thought about killing myself," Heather McNamara whispered so quietly that even though I was the only person who heard it, I wasn't sure I had. I turned to look at her, puzzled. But I quickly understood and gave her an encouraging nod. She was about to say more, when Veronica screamed out:

"JD, what the fuck have you done!? This ends now!" She got up and ripped the microphone from Ms. Fleming's hands.

"None of them killed themselves. JD tricked me into killing Heather for what happened at Ram's party. Sam turned JD in for cheating on a test so he wrote a note and drowned her. Hayden catcalled me so he shot him. Andrew hit him and called him names, so JD thought he should die. He was jealous of Martha and he-" She couldn't even finish the sentence. Ms. Fleming took the microphone.

"Young lady, we are trying to have a discussion here. If you want to make fun of all this, you can leave right now." Veronica opened her mouth to argue but couldn't. She ran, with JD chasing her. 

After a long silence, Heather McNamara spoke up. 

"I have thought about killing myself."

Ms. Fleming looked relieved, someone was speaking up.  "It's okay, come on up here and share."

I squeezed her hand. "You'll be fine, Sweetie." 

Mac took the microphone from Ms. Fleming.

"I always thought I would be the one to kill myself, not Heather. I mean, I only get good grades because I don't complain about teachers ogling me. Nobody cares about me beyond my looks. And everything in life is so fragile. There's just so much and if one thing goes wrong, everything collapses. I have school, cheer, my family life, my friends, I have all these parties to go to and I have to make sure I look good for all of it because if I don't, nobody cares. People seem to forget that I'm human. I feel like everyone is looking at me to judge me. And if I say the wrong thing, or wear the wrong outfit, or I forget my makeup, they'll stop hanging out with me and I'll be an outcast. And I can't rely on my grades to save me. I hate being a high schooler, because all the students are just waiting to jump on each other, everyone is either on attack or defense mode." Heather Duke jumped down at this.

"What, are you saying Westerberg isn't a nice place? Are you saying that we are all bullies?" I got up, but Ram pulled me back down.

"Well, guess what? You just said the wrong thing. I can't believe you're so stuck up, to think your looks could get you through anything," Ms. Fleming ran up to intervene, but Mac was already on the verge of tears.

"Heather Duke, sit down. Now. We don't tolerate that kind of-"

"What? Are you gonna cry now Heather? Cry then, you little baby. You want to kill yourself, really, with your perfect life? Go ahead then, die," Ram let go of me when he heard that, probably thinking Duke deserved to have me go crazy on her. But I didn't have time to beat the ever loving shit out of her, because Heather Mac had just run out of the room crying. I heard Fleming tell Duke she was suspended, which meant it would be a few days before he could deal with her, but I really didn't care. Where the hell did she go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why, yes, the actors who played Chandler, Kurt, and Ram in the production that inspired this fic were named Samantha, Andrew, and Hayden. How did you know?
> 
> The reason Martha's "Suicide note" has so many lines from the musical is because I wanted it to be obvious that JD had written it, so it has lines JD actually said in the show.


	3. Die Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt realizes what Heather is trying to do, and does everything he can to stop her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suicide trigger warning, but it's told from Kurt's POV and he doesn't see anything or attempt.

I run through the hallway calling out for Heather, flying around the corner.

"! Heather!" I  rush faster than I knew I could. I pass her locker, it's wide open, so I stop to investigate. I open the bag she keeps her emergency Ativan in, thinking I should probably bring her one. But the whole bottle is gone. I reach into the bag and scrape my finger. I pour out 3 razor blades. 

"SHIT!" I scream out loud, not caring who hears me. I grab the whole bag, not wanting to put it back in her locker, slam it shut, and run to the bathroom I know she will be in.

I grab the handle and try to open the door, my hands shaking. Of course, she has locked it. I don't even take a second to catch my breath, and bang on the door. 

"Heather! Heather, baby, open the door!" No response. I press my ear to the door. I hear crying, and the bottle rattling. 

"Stupid child-proof caps!" Heather exclaims from inside. _Ok, good, she's alive and she hasn't opened the bottle yet._

"Heather, open the door. Please, baby, I don't want to fight over this. Open the goddamn door!" I try to kick the door down, but I'm shaking and off-balance. There is more panic flowing through my body than blood.

"Heather, please. I know you're scared and depressed, but I've been there, I can help you! Please! So many people care about you! Please!!" I start beating the door punching it over and over. I try to break the doorknob off, but it only dents slightly. I start laughing/crying manically, trying to balance out the desperation in my voice. It isn't working. 

"Honeybee, I love you please don't leave me! Are you still in there?!" Ram runs from around the corner, and grabs onto my shoulder.

"What the hell is going on, dude?" I just shake him off, throwing him to the ground.

"Honeybee, please." I beg weakly. I punch the door again, and notice my knuckles are bleeding. I have no idea when exactly that happened. I punch the door again and again and again and again-

"Kurt? KURT!" Ram grabs me. "STOP! Stop it, dude! You're gonna hurt yourself!"

"She's gonna kill herself. The door won't budge." When he realizes he can't get me away from Heather, Ram leaves and runs down the hall. He comes back with the principal and school nurse. Ram yells at me until I finally snap out of it, and I just lean against the wall sliding down it. I puts my elbows on my knees and my forehead on my arms and I just cry. Ram sits next to me and puts his arm around my shoulders. I lean against him and weep as the EMT's come in.

A gurney is wheeled out, with Heather McNamara laying on it. Ram stands first, and helps me up. I walk over to the gurney, and kiss Heather on the cheek. My tears fall onto her face. Then I notice the blood on her arms, and I feel like I'm going to be sick. Ram does too. As the EMT pulls the sheet over her face, I just turn into Ram and cry. All Ram can do is hug me back. Neither of us have ever felt so helpless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be flashback chapters in the future, showing how they were as a couple while she was alive. I just really wanted this chapter to happen pretty early on. I'm considering having some Ram x Kurt later on, but I'm not sure. Comment if you think its a good idea or bad idea.


	4. Learn to Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heather McNamara's funeral, tensions run high. Ram is there to comfort Kurt, but he can only help so much.

I sit in the passenger seat of his mom's car; I open the visor and the mirror. _God, I look awful._ My face is blotchy and red. I readjust my black tie and take a deep breath.

"Are you sure you can do this? Nobody will blame you if you can't. I can always come with you if you want." My mom offered, the worry plain on her face.

"No, Mom. I really don't want you there. Her parents want to keep it as small as possible. But I need to be there."  She nods and starts the car, headed to the funeral home in complete silence.

_Heather is dead. Bright, sunny, happy Heather is dead. It feels like a nightmare. Wake up! Why didn't she just open the damn door?! Did she think I would have hurt her? Didn't she know I would have stopped her and gotten her help? I love her! Or, loved her. This is never gonna get any easier, is it?_

My thoughts are interrupted when my mom stops the car.

"I'll pick you up from here at 4?" She asks. I nod, Mom pats me on the shoulder and I get out of the car. I slowly walk up the steps to the funeral home and go inside. I greet Heather's parents, although I'm quite sure what exactly is said. I’m a bit zoned out the entire time. This still feels like a bad dream. The only other person there who I care to talk to is Veronica. To my surprise, she approaches me, not the other way around.

"Hey, Kurt. How are you doing?" She hugs me, I hug her back. After we let go, I answer:

"As good as I can be right now. At least, I'm trying to be." My voice cracks when I say "trying", so Veronica pulls me back in for another hug.

"I'm so sorry. I wish I had stayed, I could have stopped her." I can tell Veronica is trying to comfort me, but she doesn't know exactly how.

"She wouldn't have let you. I tried to get her to open the door. I tried to break the door. I tried-" I break down in tears, Veronica patting me on the back. Ram walks through the door, and over to us first thing.

"Hey, Buddy. How you doing?" Ram asks. "I know the answer, it's okay." He rubs my shoulder, it's obvious he's trying to be as sweet as he can without making me uncomfortable. But honestly, it's exactly what I need right now.

"Hey, Ram." Veronica and Ram acknowledge each other.

"Hey, Veronica. How was Martha's funeral? I should have gone, I know. It would have meant a lot to her, but I couldn't face all those people who care about her and pretend I wasn't a huge jerk to her."

"It's okay. It was beautiful, though." I finally let go of Veronica. Veronica notices something, and both of us turn to see what caught her attention.

Heather Duke just walked in.

"Kurt, let's go find somewhere to sit." Ram tries to guide me away, but my gaze lingers. I can feel my grief being replaced with anger. I turn to face Ram, but I know Ram is right; I shouldn't make a scene. But how dare she show her face here? Really, how dare she? Ram and I go into a room where they are showing a slideshow of pictures of Heather. I sit on the loveseat, and Ram goes to get us some water.

I am staring at the slideshow. It's on a picture Heather took at the fair with Chandler and Duke. She's wearing yellow mouse ears, but Chandler and Duke are wearing grey cat ears. I shake my head, the ears are strangely fitting with the way they treated her. But she still seemed so happy. She is smiling and throwing up a peace sign, no depression in sight.

Ram returns with two glasses of water, sitting down and handing one to me. Ram doesn't know what to say, but I know I need to say something.

"I promise, I tried as hard as I could to get her to open the door," I tell my shoes. Ram nods his head, his lips pressed tightly together.

"I know, man. I saw you. I was terrified for you. I know you tried," Ram pats me on the back, trying to be comforting, but ends up pulling me in for a full hug.

"Why didn't she just open up? Why didn't she let me in?" I kind of half-mumble to nobody.

"The door, or emotionally?" Ram asks, legitimately confused.

"Yes," I stare blankly forward.

"Maybe she didn't want to bother you with how she felt," Ram suggests. "She was selfless to the point she would forget herself," He is completely right about that. It's a wonder she somehow ended up with some of the school's biggest bitches. I know Heather and Heather meant a lot to her, and their opinion of her mattered more than it should have.

"I don't know what to do. I just miss her. I really loved her, more than anyone knows. I just wish she knew and understood how important she was to me," I get choked up and can't speak, Ram hands me a Kleenex. I thank him and wipe my eye.

"I know what you mean. Wanting someone to understand how important they are to you. But then, it's too late to tell them. She knew you loved her. I think that's why she didn't open the door. She knew you would have convinced her not to do it, or she didn't want you to see her bleeding and in pain like that,"

"Would it have been so bad for me to stop her?"

"I don't think she wanted you to," I start crying harder. "You will get through this, I promise you. I know you're hurting right now, trust me I am too, but you will get through this, Buddy,"

We sit like that for a while, Ram holding me. Honestly, I know this makes me sound like a sap, but just being held makes me feel better. We get a few stares from people who knew I was with Heather, but Ram stares daggers right back. Eventually, I tell Ram I need to go talk to Veronica. He gets up to come with me.

I find her in the foyer, with JD yelling at Duke.

"-Would NEVER have done this to ANYONE! You betrayed her trust, and now look around you. Do you see what has happened? All the people who are hurting because of you? I hope you're happy, even though you had absolutely NOTHING to gain from what you did." Duke is cowering away, staring at her shoes. She doesn't have any right to be here. Veronica touches JD's chest, he takes a deep breath and storms out. Veronica follows him. _Well, I guess we can just talk later. I need to deal with Duke first._

"What made you think you are welcome here?" is the first thing I can think to say.

"I needed to see her. To apologize." Duke almost whispers.

"It's too late to say sorry. She's gone. She's never coming back," Tears start pouring down my face, and I know I can't finish this conversation. I leave her alone with Ram and he tells her to leave. She does, and he follows me back to the loveseat we were on.

"She really is gone. She _really_ isn't coming back. This is it, this is final," I start rambling. "She did it, she's dead,"

"I know, bro. I know. C'mere man." He pulls me into yet another hug and rubs my head. I pull away.

"Hugs aren't going to make this better. She actually cared about me, and I actually cared about her. She was the only one who-"

"No, she's not. Kurt, look at me. I can't speak for anyone else, but I care about you too. Look at me," I meet his eyes. His eyebrows are raised, he's waiting for me to respond.

"Thanks, man. But it's not the same thing. I failed her, I can't save her or bring her back,"

"No, but you can give her life meaning," _...what? Does he think it didn't?_

"Her life meant a lot to me!" I snap.

"I know that. I mean show other people how much her life meant, and how her death hurt so many people,"

"How?"

"That's up to you. Fight bullying, suicide prevention, however you think she would like," I nod. Ram is usually stupid, but that's actually a good idea.

"Dude, they're gonna put her in the ground," Ram's brows meet each other. _...and he's back to his regularly scheduled stupid._

"Yeah...?"

"I can't watch it. I can't watch them put her in the ground. I just-" He shakes his hand to silence me.

"That's fine. I don't think anyone would blame you if you didn't, we can just go do something together. What do you want to do?" I shrug, I haven't put too much thought into anything other than Heather the past few days.

"Wanna just get drunk?" I suggest, starting to zone out a bit. Ram smiles and holds up a fist.

"Punch it in!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are appreciated! Let me know what you think, would Kram work?  
> I'm not feeling well and I have a colonoscopy coming up, so it might be another week or so before I get the next chapter out. Thanks for your patience!


	5. Smacking Lunch Trays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt finally returns to school over a week after Heather's death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so short, like I said I've been sick. I will release the chapter I meant to have out later this week. I was gonna combine this and the next chapter into the same one, but that won't be done for another couple of days and I wanted to give you something.

**JD's POV**

Veronica follows me out of the funeral, it’s probably a good thing. I’m a few paces ahead of her, but I slow down to let her catch up. She always calms me down. I can’t believe Duke showed up there, it’s her fault I had to do that. Two Heathers are dead, there is only one left. I hate seeing Veronica hurt like this though, all her friends are dead except Duke. After this though, I doubt Duke is her friend still. Maybe she will be overcome with guilt and off herself so I don’t need to get involved again. 

“JD! We need to talk. Now!” She finally gets close enough to grab my arm, but I shake her off.

“Whatever about, Dearest?” I try to sound as sweet as possible, I know it irritates her.

“You. Can’t. Keep. Killing. People.” She’s talking through gritted teeth, and pauses between each word.

“Woah, woah, woah, I didn’t kill them alone. We did. I only did Martha alone because I knew you wouldn’t do it, and that’s your fault,”

“You’re delusional. You’re sick! It is NOT my fault you’re a psychopath!” Her voice wavers, it’s actually pretty adorable.

“Actually, I’m a sociopath. I have the capacity for love, at least. You see, sociopaths are created after experiencing a traumatic event. I would personally consider watching my mother blow up to be traumatic because-”

“Shut up and listen to me. You can’t keep killing people, I mean it. I don’t want to spend my life with a murderer!” Fine, I’ll just placate her for now. I’ll bring up my idea for killing Duke later, when she’s more likely to go for it.

 "Ok, I promise. No more killing, but you can't turn me in, deal?" She thinks for a minute, and we shake on it.

**Kurt's POV**

I'm pretty sure today is Wednesday, which means it's been eight days. Eight. Days. I still feel like she died five minutes ago. I haven't gone back to school, and my dad hasn't made me. This morning though, he comes in and turns on the light.

"Hey, Kurt. I need you to get back to school, boy," I pop up out of bed, pushing my hair out of my face. I look up at my father, sleepy-eyed. After he realizes I'm not moving, he starts talking.

"I'm getting calls from the school, Buddy. They're worried about you, your grades are gonna get worse if you don't go. And they weren't too fantastic to begin with," 

He's right, it's not even worth arguing. I nod my head and get up. After a shower, I start to feel a bit better. Ram knocks on my door, we've been walking to school together since kindergarten. As soon as I open it, I'm overwhelmed by his preppy and cheery energy.

"Hey, your dad told me you're coming to school today, that's awesome! C'mon!" I can't help but smile at his positiveness. _Is that even a word? I have heard it before, I think in physics class. Positiveness sounds like something a child would say, though._

My thoughts about the word "positiveness" get interrupted when Ram sees a freshman walking to school. He gets this stupid grin on his face we used to exchange when we see someone to mess with. 

"I know what will make you feel better, let's give him a hard time," Neither of us ever used the word "bullying" before, but after seeing what Heather did to Heather, it's become obvious that's what it was. 

"No, honestly it will make me feel worse," I look down at my feet, nervous that I will change my mind if I see Ram's face.

"Why not? We always have fun," He asks, an innocent tone to his voice. God, he really doesn't get it, does he?

"We were being dicks. What we did is no better than what Duke did. I don't know about you, but I don't want anyone to kill themselves because of me," I just kinda snapped on him. I never lashed out at Ram before, never. But this is serious. "We're bullies, Ram. That needs to end," I meet his eyes. He nods his head thoughtfully. I think he gets it.

"You're...right. I never...You're so right, dude. God, I never thought of it like that before," 

"Me either,"

We walk the rest of the way to school in complete silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know positiveness is not a word (At least not in the sense Kurt is trying to use it in), I'm just trying to show his character.  
> As always, feedback is welcome and appreciated.


	6. WOAH! Is it MURDER?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The police pull Kurt out of class to have a discussion with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for taking so long! I had a monster concussion, my bad.

** KURTS POV **

Ram and I pause outside the door, he gives me a small smile and opens the door for me. I enter and he follows soon after me. As we walk through the halls to my locker, I see people staring at me. People are usually absorbed in their own drama. I really didn't expect them to notice I was gone. I look down to avoid seeing them, and I notice the jersey I'm wearing. _Oh, right. I'm a football player._ We get to my locker and I gather my books, and I see a picture of Heather I hung up in there. Ram pats me on the back.

"Look, man. Just let me know if you need anything, but I gotta get to my locker. You okay to be alone?" I nod my head, still staring at the picture. I don't move until I can feel that Ram has left. I take a deep breath and finally get my stuff, for fear of being late. I have English first so I start heading that way. But I pass Mr.Mason's class on the way, and I see two cops outside his door. I can't help but stare, there are freaking cops at school. I speed up and decide it's none of my business. But when I get to my classroom, there are another two cops standing outside that room. I excuse myself and try to get it, but one of the cops stops me.

"Are you Kurt Kelly?" Asks a female cop with brunette hair tied in a pony tail. I nod my head.

"Can you come with us? We would like to talk to you." I turn and see a somewhat small black man. I smile to myself. _This is not the stereotypical black cop_ , I think to myself, and then wonder if that was racist. Before I can answer I'm being led to outside the building. People are staring because the quarterback is being escorted out to a cop car, after being out of school for so long.

"Am I under arrest?" I finally ask, unable to hold the question back any longer as the woman cop opens the door for me. She shakes her head.

"No, we just want to ask you some questions and we want to do it back at the station instead of your school," 

"Can I ask you some questions? What are your names? What happened? Am I in trouble?" 

"Easy, easy," The man chuckles a bit as he gets in the driver's side. "We should have introduced ourselves. I'm Officer Fulmer, she's Officer Jordan. We'll explain what happened later. And as of right now, you aren't in trouble. Yet."  He stares into my very soul for what feels like an hour, but then he bursts out in a cackle. "I'm just pulling your leg, you aren't a suspect in anything, we just have some questions,"

"What about?" I am sweaty and shaking, I need to know or I might lose my lid. 

"You'll find out when we get there," I nod my head, and mull it over until we get there. When we do, they take me into a small room with a table, a spinny chair, and a wooden chair. There's a camera in the corner. Officer Jordan goes to take care of something, I have no idea what, and Officer Fulmer comes in with me. When he turns his back, I make a funny face at the camera just to calm my nerves. Surprisingly, it works.

"Ok, let's get started so we can get you back to class," 

"But I don't wanna!" I roll my eyes in an over-done and fake way. I'm not sure why, but I feel comfortable and like I can joke with him. Fortunately, I'm right. He laughs and mentions truancy. 

"Ok, so I want to ask you some questions about your friends. Do you have a girlfriend?" I lose the ability to look him in the eye as tears immediately begin to form.

"She- she died. Killed herself a little over a week ago." 

"So Heather McNamara was your girlfriend? For how long?"

"Seven months, would have been 8 tomorrow,"

"How was your relationship?"

"What do you mean?" I finally look up at him, he seems sympathetic and genuine.

"I mean, was a it rocky? Was it good?"

"I stopped drinking for her," He jots something down. "I mean, I wasn't a big drinker to begin with, but it really bothered her and I did some stupid things when I was drunk so I promised her I would stop,"

"Did you keep your promise?"

"Until the night of her funeral, yeah," 

"What about your friend JD?" _What? Why is he mentioning JD?_

"What about him? We aren't close, like at all. He's just dating one of my girlfriend's friends,"

"What's he like?" I kinda want to know what he is thinking.

"What did he do?"

"What do you think he did?"

"Honestly, it could have been anything. He's real dark and edgy. A real 'stick it to the man' type of attitude. Never seen without a black trench coat. His dad's a demolitionist. He and Veronica have a rocky relationship, and some kind of secret,"

"Secret?" He thinks he found something.

"Yeah, they are always looking at each other like-like they're hiding something. And he'll hold his finger to his lips when he thinks we aren't looking, to her," 

"Any idea what this secret is?"

"I used to think he was beating her or something, but the way she stands up to him, no way. Now would you please tell me what this is about?"

"We are investigating him for a series of deaths at your school. Originally, we thought they were suicides. But Martha Dunnstock's suicide note and history called the others into question." 

"Well, I was outside the door when Heather killed herself, I know he didn't do it. But the others? I have no idea. The dude is the definition of an edgy jerk, and he is hiding something. That's all I can tell you." 

"Thank you. Let me drive you back to school,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm only gonna post one more chapter before I go into treatment for my bipolar. That will take around 2 months. I'll be back asap, but here you go for now.


	7. Assholes Who Hurt People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some JD and Veronica drama happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter for two months! Hope you enjoy! It's not 100% complete, I will improve it when I return.

** Veronica's POV **

I spit out my toothpaste. It's 10 AM, early to be up on a Saturday. But I told JD to be here no later. I get a text

**im at your door, wakey wakey.**

 

I stomp downstairs and open the door. JD smirks at me, and starts to say something. But I shut him up and grab him by the hair. I pull him into my room and throw him in, he lands on the bed.

"Oh, feisty. There's my dead girl walking. C'mere." He gets up and goes to kiss me, but I push him away.

"Spill it." He glances around the room and knocks over an empty glass on my nightstand.

"Well, that didn't work,"

"Dont be a smart-ass! I know you killed Heather!"

"Of course! You were there, you handed her the cup!" My blood is boiling, I might just beat the shit out of him.

"NOT THAT HEATHER!" He gets a look of alarm on his face.

"SHH! Keep it down, unless you want to go to jail! I didn't kill Heather, I just helped her out,"

"What the hell does that mean?"

 

**JD's POV**

_I lost Veronica, I've been running around the hall trying to find her, but she is nowhere to be found. Eventually, I come across Heather M.  going through her locker. She's crying uncontrollably. I have two options. I can comfort her, or I can kill her._

_"What's going on, M?" I casually ask, trying to gauge the situation._

_"I'm just looking for my Ativan. Panic attack, I'll be fine soon." It hits me- an idea!_

_"I don't have Ativan. I do have Cyanide."  I pull the bottle out from my pocket. I had planned it for Duke, but this will do. She stops looking for her meds and just stares forward, clearly thinking about what I just said._

_"Why the fuck do you have Cyanide?"_

_"In case I want to end it." She looks at me blankly, unsure how to process what I just said._

_"HONEYBEE!!!" Kurt is screaming. I freak out, toss her the pills, and run off to find Veronica._

**Veronica's POV**

"You GAVE HER the CYANIDE?" I can't believe this! Actually, I can, and that's what's angering me. This kid in front of me is a monster. A monster I can't control. He nods, and smiles smugly. I can't take this anymore, I draw back and slap him across the face.

 

**Kurt's POV**

Hanging out with Ram has helped me a lot. I'm not "over it", but it helps to have a distraction. Since the funeral, Ram hasn't let me drink and it's probably for the best. I've been spending all my free time at Ram's house. I've been watching him play The Last Of Us for an hour when his phone goes off. I pick it up, it's a text from Veronica.

**help hurt my house now emergency**

"Bro you got a text from Veronica. She needs help," He takes the phone from me. 

"What do we do?" He seems genuinely confused, I thought it should be obvious.

"You dunce! We go over there and see what happened." He nods his head and whispers a 'yea'. He's staring longingly at his video game. 

"Fine, you can drive. Let's go. Now." I am in a rush, not even putting on a jacket as Ram takes half an hour to put his on. We live about a 20 minute walk from Veronica's house, but it's a 5 minute drive. 2 if we speed. 

 

 

We speed.

We don't bother knocking on the door, we just come in. 

"Veronica?!" Ram yells, to no answer. "Veronica's mom?!" He tries.

"Her parents are on a 'second honeymoon'. Her room is upstairs." We stumble over each other running up the stairs. 

Neither of us have any idea how to respond to what we find.

Veronica is lying on the floor next to her bed. The blood surrounding her on the white carpet just looks like a red carpet. I rush to her side. Her eye is swollen shut, her lip is split, and her nose is bleeding. I'm not sure if I should touch her or not. Ram is the first to point out something I didn't even notice.

"Should I-give her my jacket?" I stare at him dumbfounded, but then I realize her shirt is torn and she is almost completely exposed. I nod my head, I would give her mine if I had bothered to wear it. 

"Veronica, what happened?" She tries to sit up, but grabs her side and lays back down. When she moves her hand, I see that it's bruised beyond belief. 

"Take a wild guess, genius," I look at Ram. He shrugs and says:

"I have no clue," Suddenly, it dawns on me.

"JD." I flatly state. She nods her head. "Ram, call 911." She grabs my arm.

"No! He's run off, no telling when he will come back. Listen to me. He is a killer, and if he finds out one of us ratted him out, he will kill you, Ram, Duke, me, and literally anyone else who gets in his way,"

"You're right. Cops were asking me about him, they thought he had something to do with Martha's death."

"He had everything to do with Martha's death."

"Well, won't the cops kind of stop him from doing that?" It kinda sucks when Ram is that smartest person in the room. "And don't you need medical attention? We aren't doctors and you might be bleeding inside-aly. What's the word?" 

"Internally," I supply. "And for once, Ram is right. You need to see a doctor. We won't leave you until we are sure you're safe," 

"Yeah, my game is saved so we are good if it turns off on it's own," I roll my eyes, and dial 911.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the hospital with Veronica, things happen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back, y'all! Please enjoy this chapter that I'm making up as I go.

**Kurt's POV**

Ram and I are sitting in the hospital. Ram thought to call her parents about an hour after we got here, they're on the next flight home, and they'll be here in about 5 hours. Ram and I aren't leaving Veronica's side until then. She passed out on the ambulance ride, and the doctors won't tell us what's going on. She's waking up and falling asleep, the doctors haven't let the police talk to her, but they've interviewed both Ram and I. We didn't tell them about him killing people, because honestly I'm not sure if it's true, I'll let Veronica tell them about that. We did tell them she was beaten by her boyfriend. Ram's coming back from the cafeteria with some pizza, when JD bursts in. He seems upset, he's playing the concerned friend well. 

"Let me see her! Is she ok?" He's shouting, and Veronica wakes up. I take my pizza from Ram and glare at JD the best I can. 

"Who told him she was here?" I ask nobody in particular. Ram shrugs. The police askJD who he is, and he yells at the top of his lungs,

"I'M HER BOYFRIEND, NOW LET ME IN!" I smile, he's done himself in now. The police know not to let her boyfriend in. They ask him to follow them, and a look of alarm splashes on his face that I will not soon forget. He looks in the room and sees Ram and I. He realizes what is happening, but he says nothing and follows the police. 

"Is that him?" Veronica is awake. I overhear her asking the nurse to let Ram and I in, and he finally relents. Ram, being awkward but still adorable, pats her on the foot. 

"Hey, how ya feeling?" Ram asks, because I completely forgot how to speak.

"I'm so high, do you know what they have me on?" We both shake our heads. "I don't either," I have some questions for her and I'm not sure it can wait, I have to ask no matter her mental state

"Veronica, we need to have a serious conversation. Can you get yourself together for a few minutes?"

"I'm messing with you, Kurt. I'm totally together."

"So, yes that was JD you heard. You're telling the cops what you know." There's a pause. "You are telling them, right?"

"I don't think I will." She says, looking at the ground. She doesn't like this decision, and honestly neither do I. She looks ashamed, to tell the truth.

"Wha-why?" Ram asks, incredulously.

“You don’t know what he’s capable of,” she answers, staring at the floor. I can’t help but scoff.

“I think we have a pretty good idea. I was terrified when I saw you on the floor, there’s no way to describe that. He needs to be put away. Besides, the police already know he did it.”

“What? How?” She asks, her face big and alarmed.

“The police thought Ram or I did something, so we told them the truth.”

"You- What the hell?!" She seems...angry? Why's she angry?

"Well you can't expect us to take the fall, can you? What were you planning on telling them?"

"A robbery or something."

"Why the hell would you cover for him?" I couldn't fathom her letting him get away with this.

"Because..." I wait for an answer before I realize there isn't one coming. The Ram finishes her sentence.

"Because she loves him,"


End file.
